Author’s Note: Following several realizations about myself as a person and which direction my life is going in general, I would like to reiterate my gratitude and love towards each and every single one of you who have, in the past, present, and future, given me so much. I pray, moving forward, that I can live to be a person I can be content with. Thank you for the kindness and the love, from each and every single one of you, undeserved though it may be, and lacking though I may be.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee. If I did, we would actually have dancing lobsters in the hallways when called for.
The twins’ father exhaled and replied, “…the board thinks their decision will be made final tonight. Or at least by tomorrow. We want the boys to go back into the dormitories and clear out their things…and tomorrow the school will be closed.”
Kurt stared at him with the same expression as all the other boys. “…you’re…you’re really doing it. You’re closing our school.”
Episode 28 - Siege (Part 1)
Kurt looked up when he saw two familiar figures walking up to him. The funeral attendees were starting to drift away, some in small packs, while others lingered, talking to one another. And now, coming up to him, was someone else who he’d seen as his teacher. Mr. Schuester smiled as he came up to him, and to his surprise, Rachel was also present, clothed in a very proper black dress that Kurt dearly wished to have shorn the hemline of for an instant.
“Mr. Schue?” surprised, Kurt moved away from where he was with his father, stepmother, Blaine, as well as Mrs. Anderson to go speak to his former choirmaster. “Rachel?” he blinked at her. “What are you two doing here…? I didn’t see you in the church…”
“Well, Greg is a fellow teacher and I thought it was only right of me to come here to pay respects…especially after he looked after you in the Warblers,” Mr. Schuester replied with a smile, patting Kurt’s shoulder. “And Rachel insisted on coming with me.”
“That,” she interjected immediately, giving Kurt a direct look, “is because during that Valentines’ Day carnival of yours, Mr. Harvey had been very courteous to all of us and even complimented me, and he can clearly acknowledge the strength of their future competition. I mean normally we’d be accused of being spies, but he was…kind. Very kind.” Rachel nodded thoughtfully. “He seemed like a very good man. We hadn’t known him for long, but he seemed kind.”
“He was,” Kurt smiled a little, glancing down for a moment before looking back at them. “I appreciate you guys being here. Really. I—it means a lot to all of us.”
“He’d been a great teacher, Kurt,” Mr. Schuester replied with a nod. “That boy who gave the eulogy… It really showed what a great job he did as a teacher to all of you, not just the Warblers.”
“We actually came here to see how you were doing after getting out of the hospital, too…” Rachel said, looking at Kurt with genuine concern in her brown eyes. “And how you’re handling all this.”
“I’m…handling it.” Kurt replied, sighing as he sat down on one of the carved stone benches. “There’s a lot of things to think about…and we don’t even know where to begin. It looks like our problems aren’t quite over.”
There was a pause as Rachel glanced at Mr. Schuester and moved to where Kurt sat. She settled carefully on the bench next to him and gave him a small smile. “Yeah, we…we heard some of your schoolmates talking and the parents talking…” she gave him a questioning expression. “…are they really going to close down your school?”
Kurt glanced at her and nodded slightly. “That’s what Mr. Brightman told us… They want us to clear our things out by tonight. We told him that considering all the stuff in there, we’re not sure if it could be done, so they’re talking to the parents about letting us stay one more night in the school to finish taking everything down. We wanted to be responsible taking down our dorms. They might close the school by the afternoon of tomorrow. And…and we go someplace else. Separate. All of us.”
For a moment, Kurt sank his face into his hand. “All of us, we’re going away. My new friends, people I lived with through all…this…” Kurt gestured absently into the cold air. “We don’t even get a shot to fix it. It’s just…over. They decided for us. And we’re stuck with that decision. And considering the situation with Blaine and his family, I…”
Rachel reached over with a sigh and slipped an arm around his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him. “…you’ll still see him, right?”
“Shane said that their mother and father want to take them both to live in California and start over. That’s on the other side of the country, Rachel.” Kurt pursed his lips. “And his father isn’t really my biggest fan.”
“And it’s not just that.” Kurt glanced at Rachel and shook his head. “…I’m going to have to start over again…just when I managed to get comfortable with them. All of them. …like they waited until I decided I liked them all, even the really snooty ones who you want to wish root canals to sometimes.”
“You’re talking about those guys from the red house, right?” Rachel grinned.
“Stuart, yes, them too.” Kurt sighed, shaking his head. “They…grew on me.” He rolled his eyes and he picked at a piece of lint on his deep black jacket. His eyes wandered to where the Windsors were still talking, looking distressed. In the face of separation, they stuck together, trying to find a way. “…I just feel like I’m leaving family again.”
Mr. Schuester sat down with them and sighed, looking warmly at Kurt. “You’ve been through a really rough couple of weeks, Kurt… These things are a little beyond our control. Bad things happened and it always seems like it’s the worst but you move forward. It’s not like you’ll lose contact with them forever, they’re your friends, they’ll still be there.”
“It wouldn’t be the same.” Kurt gazed absently into the distance. “Just like it wasn’t the same when I moved away from you guys and into Dalton. It’s a…different atmosphere there. …not bad, just…different.”
Rachel rubbed his back a little, also looking absently at the grass. And it wasn’t after a long pause when she decided to say what had been on her mind. “You know…if your school is closing down, you can always…” Rachel smiled a little at him; the kind of smile that people used when they were obviously trying to help but weren’t sure if what they were going to say was really going to help, “…you can always come back to McKinley. Back with us.”
And the thing was…that wasn’t the first time during all this that Kurt had that thought crossing his mind. He looked at Rachel for a moment, and then looked back at Mr. Schuester, who just smiled faintly. “She makes a fair point, Kurt. You could come back to us and we could make sure that your well-being is looked out for.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about Karofsky,” Kurt remarked with a small smile. “We…I think we’ve come to some kind of understanding.”
“Then the offer stands,” Rachel’s smile broadened.
Kurt glanced at her and then looked back to the Windsors. And then for a moment, he wondered, Is this really it…? After tonight, when we’ve all packed, is that it? We say our goodbyes, we separate to various places…? I’ll…lose Blaine because he’ll be all the way in the West Coast…? So much for our dreams of being together until we set off for Broadway and New York… I wouldn’t see Wes and David—haven’t even seen where they live… I’ll probably actually miss those crazy Twins, but they’ll probably be taken overseas… I won’t see Reed anymore, if his mother will have anything to say about it… Dwight could adapt anywhere, there’s no changing someone like that… And then the Warblers…the people I know from here… It’s just…goodbye.
“After everything…” Kurt murmured.
“Excuse me?” Rachel blinked.
“Nothing.” Kurt carefully began to stand and Mr. Schuester stood with him, handing him the crutch. Kurt could walk without it, but he did promise his dad that he wouldn’t put all that much stress. He looked up at his former teacher with an intent blue stare. “I’ll think about it, Mr. Schue. But…it’s nice to know that I’ll always have you guys to look out for me. That’s…more than I expected out of high school.”
Rachel smiled and hugged him again. Kurt allowed her, patting her back and wincing when she hugged tighter for an instant and he could feel creases on his jacket. Rachel’s smile was bright and sunny as she looked up at him. “It’ll be okay, right?”
Kurt just nodded. It has to be.
“Hey Kurt!” The Windsor boys were flailing to him now, looking anxious to speak to him. “Come on!”
The “Alice” rolled his eyes. “Duty calls.”
“We’ll see you, okay Kurt?” Mr. Schuester nodded and smiled, and let Kurt move back to the Windsors. Blaine met him halfway and Kurt shot him an I’m-fine-relax kind of look before turning his attention to the other boys. “What is it?”
“The whole group of us have decided to head back to the school in the Brightmans’ car,” Blaine replied, as if “car” was anybody’s normal term for “stretch limousine.” “Are you coming with us? You and Reed have a lot of stuff in there, mainly clothes. You should start early.”
Kurt nodded a little. “I suppose we’ll have to. Pick up a lot of clothing bags along the way.”
“Mom said she’ll send me a lot, I’ll give you some,” Reed replied with a small smile.
“Hey Alice,” The Twins suddenly broke in, looking to the place where Kurt had come from. Behind him, Mr. Schuester and Rachel were standing with Ms. Medel and they all seemed to be talking. Two pairs of blue eyes grew big at Kurt. “That talking flower you were talking to earlier—what were you talking about?”
Kurt hesitated. He glanced at Blaine, who was also looking expectant. “My old teacher Mr. Schue…he and Rachel said that if Dalton was closing down… I could always go back. To…New Directions.”
There was an awkward pause where they didn’t look at him much, as though they weren’t sure of what to say. Of course Kurt had McKinley. But of course…they wondered what this meant for the rest of them. Kurt had arrived just this year, but he was just as much—if not more—a Dalton boy as the rest of them. Especially after everything that had happened, and all they’ve been through together. Losing Kurt was as terrible to them as losing any of their friends, to distance, to change.
Wes and David, the first people to bring Kurt into Windsor along with Blaine, tried to find something to say and failed. Reed looked as though he wanted to say something but didn’t think it was appropriate. The Twins seemed to know what they wanted to say however, because they looked at Kurt with the same unfaltering stare they gave him that same first day in Dalton Academy. The twins looked a little pleased. “Then, we’re glad.”
“You are?” Kurt gave them an incredulous look. For the past several months, he’d been their “Alice”. He had thought that the Twins would be the second unhappiest—after Blaine—to see him go.
The Twins only smiled warmly at him. “…because then we don’t have to worry about someone taking care of you.”
“We’d been wondering ever since dad said we were all going to separate…” Evan murmured.
“About whether or not you’ll be all right,” Ethan continued. “You’re our friend, Kurt. We don’t want anything untoward to happen to you now that we can’t watch over you the way we want to.”
It was strange for Kurt to hear these things, and stranger still to see the small smiles on the other boys’ faces that proved that they agreed. They cared about him, and they had come to really like the boy who had become their headstrong, determined Alice. He gave them a slightly confused and rather pleased look. “…really.”
Dwight shrugged a little. He still looked pale, and his eyes were red and his nose was red, but he looked composed and a bit more like his old self. “You’re one of us, aren’t you…? Of course we’ll care.”
Kurt turned when he felt Blaine staring at him. “We’ll…miss you horribly,” Blaine replied with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. There was something about the way he said it that made it seem as though there was even more to it than he made it seem. “…I’ll miss you horribly. …but all I care about is that you’d be somewhere safe and happy. I want good things for you and I want you happy and loved.”
“You’re not allowed to say goodbye to me yet,” Kurt replied quietly, giving him an intent look and letting Blaine tug him a little closer. Blaine’s smile grew a little as Kurt added, “It’s not time for goodbyes yet.”
“No matter what you choose to do…no matter where you go… In the end…you’re not chasing the Rabbit. I’ll always be with you. Remember, that, okay?” Blaine smiled and reached over to hug him as their friends smirked at each other and restrained themselves from the usual reaction. Blaine shot them a “don’t say it” look anyway as he held Kurt close. Kurt smiled as he kept his arms around Blaine, trying to swallow back the cold realization that not long from now, he might not be able to hold him like this again for a long time.
The Twins merely confined themselves to grinning again in Rachel’s direction and saying, “We like that little flower. She’s pretty and she seems sweet.”
Kurt choked, releasing Blaine. “Rachel?”
“What…?” the Twins blinked back innocently. Evan added, “She’s pretty and small, like a doll…” as Ethan nodded, “And she can sing…”
“And she’s taken, by my stepbrother, now shush.” Kurt raised his palm to them for silence, looking as though he wasn’t in the mood to really hear this right now. “Should we go?” he asked instead to everyone else, while the Twins stood looking amused. “If we’re going to make sure everyone is okay…and besides, I’m not sure if the so-called “Knave” has been told that we have to pack up by tonight.”
Blaine nodded. “We should get going.”
“Rabbit, you have to come with us, though,” the Twins reminded him.
“Back to the old digs, you’ve got a huge room to take down so you better get cracking,” Han reminded him. “The theater alone’s going to be a pain. Your single’s got a lot of other people’s stuff in it too; you want them to go rummaging through your things?”
Blaine paled at the thought of the Twins, Wes, and David ransacking his room. “No. You all stay out of my room if I’m not in it. Wait, what about Logan?” Blaine looked at Kurt with a small frown.
“I think I can handle him by myself,” Kurt replied easily. “He needs to get some sense into him.” He gave Blaine a reassuring expression. “I’ll be fine, trust me. And apparently, nowadays you can trust him.”
Blaine smiled faintly. “That wasn’t what I was thinking of. …whatever you tell him…it’ll come from the both of us. I think he needs to know people care.”
As Kurt nodded with a smile, Shane asked the others, “How come you don’t threaten to go into Kurt’s room?”
“That’s different,” the Twins answered calmly. “We just barely escaped death; we’re not willing to look it in the face again.”
Kurt gave them a withering grimace. “Ha ha. I’ll see you guys back at Windsor.” He let Blaine give him a kiss on the cheek, flushing only slightly. “Be good to Blaine and Charlie while I’m gone.”
“One last batch of cookies, please Alice? For old time’s sake? We’ll help you clean out your room.” The Twins looked hopeful, and the others perked up.
Kurt smiled. “I’ll think about it.”
Kurt and his father had a lot to talk about as the latter drove him to the hospital at his request. It seemed clear, from what they discussed, that Burt wanted Kurt in a safer environment, and was leaning towards returning Kurt to McKinley. “If those people can’t even look after the bigwigs’ kids then how can I think they can look after my son?” Burt had said, still upset. “You’re the most important thing in the world to me, Kurt, and I could’ve lost you then. I don’t know what I would do if I had. I don’t know if I trust these people anymore.”
“I trust them,” Kurt had replied carefully. “Mr. Harvey was one of them. If what he was willing to do was any indication…”
There had been an awkward pause after that.
Burt told his son that he would wait outside for him, to tell him if he was ready to go back to Dalton. Before Kurt had walked in, however, Burt looked at him through the window. “Hey, Kurt.”
“Yes?” Kurt leaned back to the car, his hand on the glass of the window.
Burt gave his son a long look. Kurt remembered that this was the way his father looked at him all those years back at another funeral, during the funeral of someone so precious to them both. It was the look you gave someone when you’re trying to tell them how you were the most important thing to them right now, and that because you were all that’s left of that joy, you’re even more precious. And people can be protective over important things. “I just want you to be happy. You know that, right?”
“I know, dad,” Kurt smiled back.
Burt nodded to him and Kurt stepped back watching him as he headed to the hospital parking lot. And then Kurt headed into the blast of cold air inside the hospital. For a moment, he wasn’t sure where to go. If he went and asked a nurse, she might tell Mrs. Larson that he was here, but he didn’t know where Julian’s room even was—
“Hey. Hey, kid!”
Kurt looked up at the hissing tone. A tall woman in a crisp suit was flailing to him as surreptitiously as possible and crossing the lobby to him. Before Kurt could speak, she gestured to his uniform. “I assume you’re here to see him?” she said immediately as she led him off.
“Julian, he’s the only one left here,” she retorted. She wasn’t particularly impolite but she seemed to be always in perpetual hurry and wasn’t interested a lot in him. She also did not make much of an effort to slow down so he could keep up. Annoyed, Kurt yanked off his crutch so he could walk a little more properly. She barely looked at him—more down to her blackberry—as she added, “You shouldn’t come in through the front; we’re trying to avoid cameras trying to catch his visitors. Why are you in uniform? It’s like a beacon.”
Kurt raised an eyebrow at her and leveled a devastating blue gaze. “Our teacher was buried today.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Again. Not impolite, but not particularly like she meant it with all the sincerity it deserved. They both stepped into an elevator at least and Kurt caught his breath at last. She added, “You can join the other one who’s already in there.”
“I thought Ms. Larson said no visitors?” Kurt stared in surprise.
“Yes, no visitors, but you can come only while Dolce isn’t here. She’s out talking to doctors in LA, she doesn’t like the ones here. That one that came before you had been coming all week; I let him in because it was getting a little sad to watch. Other visitors are coming anyway.”
Okay, maybe not completely unlikeable, Kurt decided as he followed her into the second floor. “Is the other visitor tall, blond, and…Abercrombie?” Kurt rolled his eyes at Mercedes’ description.
The woman smirked a little as they moved through an entryway. “Logan? Yes, him.”
“You know him?”
“He’s always sending Julian texts along with Derek, and I’ve met him more than once. Of course I know him.” She stopped at a long, empty hallway. She gestured Kurt on. “It’s 216, but you’ll know which one.”
“What do you mean?”
She didn’t answer because she was already tapping a message into her blackberry, but Kurt realized what she meant when he walked down the hall and came to 216 at the end. He thought that it was because unlike the other rooms, the shades were drawn completely.
But then he noticed that as soon as he came close enough, he could hear music. In the silence of this ward of great glass and white wall, he could hear a sound coming from the crack of the door.
And it was like ripple of déjà vu as he heard it being played in a way that he’d heard before—several months ago… The familiar melody… a song he knew…
“I was thinking about you…thinking about me… It was only just a dream…”
Kurt couldn’t help but gently smile as he silently pushed the door open a little more and found what he sought.
Lying on the bed of the room was a still form that he hadn’t seen since the fire. Lack of consciousness aside, Julian’s appearance was better than what anyone had expected. There were still some bandages on him, and he had intravenous tubes going into his veins and wires going into machines that made a steady beep of a heart that was still beating.
Sitting on a couch nearby, with a keyboard set up—one he had remembered seeing in a Stuart House room—was Logan, picking lightly at the keys, looking listless and singing absently. For a moment, the music was allowed to fade as Logan stared at the black and white keys. Then he resumed playing, as though he decided to start over.
Music in the air, the deep breath before he sang sounded like an effort. “I was thinking about you, thinking about me…thinking about us, what we’re gonna be, I opened my eyes…”
“It was only just a dream…” Kurt sang softly as he joined him in harmony, stepping inside. Logan lifted his eyes to him, not really surprised, and his eyes lit up just that little bit more as Kurt sat next to him. He continued to play, the two of them looking to the boy on the bed as they sang.
“I travel back down that road,
When you’ll come back—no one knows;
I realized…it was only just a dream…”
Logan let the music fade again. Finally, he slipped his fingers away from the keyboard and sighed. The room became still, with nothing but the heart monitor making the steady beeping. Logan sighed softly and Kurt felt him lean against him. It made him wonder if Logan was absorbing strength from him.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” Kurt murmured lightly after a moment. “I keep finding you like this.”
Logan managed to crack a small smile as he gazed at the keyboard. “If my music was a cry for help, then you must be emergency services…” But his expression was sincere as he leveled a gaze to Kurt. “…I’m glad you’re here.”
“Blaine and I may have been more worried about you than we let on…” Kurt simply smiled again, and glanced around the room. The only sign of someone else having been in there was a very expensive jacket lying on one of the chairs. He immediately knew that it was Julian’s mother’s—seeing as how that jacket was inaccessible to anyone who didn’t have immediate access to the latest Paris catwalks had to offer. Kurt spotted a little hedgehog in a cage. “…is…that supposed to be in a—”
“He’s Julian’s pet,” Logan shook his head slightly.
Kurt shrugged a little and sighed, remembering the school celeb’s rather prickly attitude. “Makes sense I guess.” He made one more once over in the room before looking back to Logan and nudging him slightly. “…how is he?” Kurt finally asked.
Logan nodded slowly, staring, drinking the sight in. He did ask all week to look at this, and he wished Derek was here to help him process it. But he saw Derek with Casey, and he didn’t want to tear him from some happiness after all his friend had been through. He did send a text telling him that he had been allowed to see Julian.
And at least he had Kurt, and Kurt’s presence had this way of calming him. “He’s…he’s doing a lot better. I asked the doctor who came in to peek a little earlier. They said his body is still in some shock. They think the only reason he’s still asleep is because his body is trying to repair and gather strength. And…”
He paused. He looked at his hands, and he closed them into fists for a moment to stop the trembling. “…they said it was up to his mind. It was up to whatever he was thinking. If he was going to wake up or not. Ball’s in his court now.”
Kurt nodded slowly. Of course. It was always the mind that was important—the human will is a powerful thing. You had to will yourself back over the brink. You had to keep fighting, you had to want to keep fighting, or no medical aid in the world can help you. “He’s got to want to be here. I mean, you’re here. He should know that people want him here.”
“I had to be here, because…I didn’t want him to be alone…” Logan’s voice broke at the last word, making Kurt look at him. Logan was clutching onto the last shreds of composure—Kurt saw his shoulders shaking with repressed sobs, and Logan’s eyes couldn’t seem to stay on the prone form across them. His eyes flicked from it, to other things in the room—any other thing in the room. “I didn’t want him to think no one wanted him back. I wanted to make sure he could come back. I don’t…I don’t really care about what he thinks, I don’t care if he doesn’t want to come back—I want him to come back—because he always…” a choke—Kurt reached out to him— “…I didn’t want him to be alone because the last time I left him alone—”
And then the wall dissolved. Logan broke down entirely, sinking his face into his hands and crying the way he had when he’d held Julian after the fire, begging him to wake up. “This can’t be happening—this isn’t happening—why is this happening?!” He didn’t even sound as though he was talking to anyone but himself anymore. Kurt stared at him and tried to rub his shoulders but Logan sat up suddenly. “I can’t—I can’t do this here, I can’t cry in front of him—”
Logan flew out the door before another word could be said. Kurt followed him, worried he would get into some kind of trouble during this hysterics; when people who’ve held it all in the way he had suddenly break, it has to flood out—it had to drain itself out.
The two of them fled down halls, one after another, making nurses and other visitors stare. Logan didn’t stop running until he found an empty side-hall—the sun shining obnoxiously bright through the windows, as though it couldn’t be bothered to understand the gravity of the situation—and he threw himself against the wall and punched it before sliding down onto the ground, sobbing. Kurt immediately moved to him, holding onto his shoulders and trying to calm him down. “Logan! Logan, come on, you have to calm down—”
“I can’t!!” Logan practically screamed back at him before shoving his face into his hands again, completely flushed with rage and the crying. “I can’t, okay?! It’s all happening all at once!!”
“I know, I know, okay? I know,” Kurt struggled to calm him but he was getting scared. Clearly Logan had little control over his emotions now that they all decided to happen at one go, it was too much. “Logan, Logan, please, take a breath or something, okay? Come on.” He grabbed onto him trying to hold him and Logan shook with the force of his sobs as he hung onto Kurt. Kurt winced as Logan clutched tightly onto him, weeping openly.
A nurse who had seen them running had come after them and she rounded the bend and saw them. “What’s going on? Are you two all right?”
“We’re fine,” Kurt replied shortly as he held Logan, who was practically in hysterics. “He’s just worked up, we’ve been through a lot this past week—”
“I think maybe I should get him a sedative—”
“No!” both he and Logan practically shouted at the same time, staring at her. Logan coughed and blinked at the nurse. “No, please. Really. I’m just…uh…” he glanced at Kurt and then looked back at the nurse and just shook his head. “I just need a minute, please? Please? Leave us alone?”
“Okay…” the nurse nodded slowly, still staring at them. She looked at Kurt. “Honey, if he gets any worse—”
“Please go away, or I will make myself get worse!” Logan shot back almost desperately before Kurt could say something. “I need to be alone—”
“All right, all right, just please, you have to keep it down, there are patients here who really need rest.” She gave Logan a long look and said, “Whatever it is, sweetie… It’s going to be all right. Okay?”
Logan couldn’t even fake looking reassured by her words; he just stared at her until she left. Kurt was sure that she was still hovering at the other hall listening when Logan sank against him and starting sobbing. “Sorry…I’m sorry, I… What the hell was I even doing…?”
“Let it out,” Kurt replied, patting his back heavily. “Come on. That’s what I do when something truly crappy happens—I cry, allow some self-pity for five minutes and then pull it back together. So just…just cry, go on.”
And he did. It didn’t really last more than ten minutes—Logan felt as though crying about anything was beneath him, and he hated showing weakness. He hated showing weakness in front of people. But at this point, everything simply flooded out. This was something he couldn’t stop anymore. He had asked to feel. And now that he felt it all…he felt as though he was going to explode.
After a while, the sobs began to abate. He started to quiet down. Kurt let out his breath. Logan sank against him, and his hold on Kurt tightened. “…I’m so glad you’re here…” he whispered. “…I don’t know what I would’ve done if you were…if you were like that too.”
“I don’t know how much help I am—you’ve already got a lot on your mind, from the looks of it.” Kurt was certain that his presence complicated matters, considering Logan’s current frame of thinking.
“Do you think he…he…” Logan whispered between sobs, making Kurt look at him. Logan raised bloodshot green eyes at him and Kurt stared, murmuring, “Sorry?”
“…do you think he’ll forgive me?”
Kurt sat back on his heels. “Forgive you?” he asked, giving him a confused look.
Logan shook his head and leaned back against the wall, letting out his breath, calmer now than before, his breath starting to go back to normal. He closed his eyes and his lashes were matted wet. “…I feel…like an idiot. And I don’t know what to do.”
“Welcome to puberty.” Kurt leaned against the wall with a sigh next to him. “When you figure it out, tell the rest of us what to do.”
“I’m the wrong person for that job.” Logan shook his head, looking guilty and disgusted. “…I can’t believe I cried in front of you. I can’t believe I cried in front of him.”
“Do you seriously think he’s going to take that against you?” Kurt shot him a sideways glance.
“He might.” Logan stared out the window. Sunshine peeked cheerily through the trees. He thought it was appallingly inappropriate. “He’d tell me to get up and deal with it.”
“Shouldn’t you take his advice, then?” Kurt replied simply. “If that’s what you think he’d want. You know him better than I do.”
“But you knew his secret before I did,” Logan looked at him intently now, questioning. “…you knew, didn’t you? It’s why you didn’t want him to say it up at the Hall.”
Kurt swallowed a little and nodded slowly, not meeting his gaze. “I did. But he didn’t want me to tell you, it wasn’t my secret to tell, and I don’t blow other people’s covers. He had the choice to tell you himself.”
“He didn’t have a choice when he told me,” Logan replied softly. “He never had a choice.”
“Sure he did.” Kurt looked up and met Logan’s eyes now. “…he had the choice to run and leave you…but he didn’t. He chose you. If he really truly wanted to…he could’ve run…way before any of this happened. It’s not his fault either…he didn’t know what would happen next. But we all made our own choices.” He looked to the windows as well. “Like everyone else in the world. …and now we have to take what we’ve got and make the best of it.”
There was a pause, and Logan closed his hand over Kurt’s and whispered, “…I’m sorry we got you into this. I have a feeling this wasn’t exactly what you signed up for when you walked into Dalton Academy.”
“Oh, I was warned,” Kurt smiled faintly. Their hands together felt a little awkward, and though he squeezed it back slightly, he curled up, hugging his knees. “I was warned plenty that I was headed into something crazy.” He paused and then let out his breath. “But I don’t think I’d look back and say I’d do differently give the same choice.”
Logan stared at Kurt, the boy he had loved for quite a while, and wondered why he felt so tormented to remember the fact. He had told himself he would let go…and for a while, that worked less effectively than he’d wanted. It was hard not to love him…but to think about the fact right now was difficult, it made him feel guilty. Kurt couldn’t be his, and it looked as though these were the same things that had gone through someone else’s mind for three years.
The thought of that was the most jarring.
He sighed and looked back outside. “I don’t know if I could say the same. …not right now.”
Kurt got up carefully, minding his leg. Logan noted the injury and got up to help him but Kurt stood by himself, brushing his pants and sleeves off carefully. He raised his eyebrows at Logan as he handed him a handkerchief. “Here,” Kurt told him, shaking the handkerchief. “Clean up a little. You didn’t want to cry in front of him, so I’m assuming you want to be presentable for him too. Go on.”
He said it so primly that Logan managed a small smile and took it. And when Kurt was satisfied that Logan had regained composure, the two of them headed back to Julian’s room. The nurse who’d followed them was at the station they passed, and she followed them with her gaze until they had gone.
The walk back to the ward was quiet, until they ran into the same busy woman that Kurt had met. She looked up when she saw them. “I thought you’d left. Where did you two go?”
“There was a phone call—”
“I needed some coffee—”
They both spoke at the same time and looked at each other. The woman raised an eyebrow. Logan rolled his eyes. “Just—whatever, Carmen. We’re headed back to the room.”
“No no, wait, you can’t go in there right now,” she said, following them quickly, especially when Logan ignored her. Kurt felt a more normal attitude from Logan at this point and wondered if it was safe for him to be opposed. When anguish drained out, Logan had room for his temper again. Hardly promising.
“Why, is Mrs. Larson here?” Kurt asked, not wanting a showdown with the diva’s mother.
“No—there’re other people in there right now. His friends.”
“More of us?” Kurt stared. “You mean from Stuart House.”
“…uh…not those classmates.”
Logan stopped at the door and realized what she was getting at before Kurt did. He glanced at her. “Who’s already in there?”
“All of them.”
All of them…? Kurt wondered.
When Carmen said “all of them,” she really meant it. When Logan, without heeding Carmen’s entreaties, opened the door, it was hard to mistake any of them since the entertainment industry had made so much of them, and Julian, from their famous TV show.
When he walked into that door, he was met with a bleary, travel-tired expression from Alicia Thornton, a blank look from Marcie Lillian, a blazing expression of annoyance from Patrick Wilson, the grave countenance of Nathan Miller, the caught-in-the-act-of-nail-biting wide eyes of Isabel Montero, an eyeroll from Natasha Saunders, the incredulous expression from Cameron Pike, and the truly exhausted look from Clark Sawyer.
All of them. The main cast of that TV show, Something Damaged.
In Julian’s room.
Kurt had the most inappropriate desire to laugh. It was like walking straight into a scene from the show. He didn’t think they’d be here. It was the strangest thing he’d ever seen and he didn’t expect it at all. It wasn’t even funny, the situation. But the room was packed with celebrities likely to have Julian’s disposition and now he and Logan added to the mix was sure to create disturbance in the force.
“Who are you?” Patrick asked, eyes narrowing slightly.
“I told you,” Clark leapt to his feet. He knew them, of course, and moved to them. He smiled at Kurt, nodding to him. “They’re his friends and classmates.”
“You’re the one who sent the hedgehog?” Marcie asked, gesturing to the critter in the cage by the bed.
“I thought he’d want him.” Logan replied coldly. “It’s his pet.”
“We know,” Nathan smiled faintly. “We were the ones who got it for him.”
So they were Julian’s friends from Tinsel Town. They all looked older than him. Kurt raised an eyebrow slightly. From the looks they all gave him and Logan, it would appear that Julian’s two sets of friends had never actually clashed until today.
“I thought this room was to be closed off for a bit?” Natasha remarked, looking the two Dalton boys over. “We’d like some time alone with him.”
Logan closed the door carefully but firmly behind Kurt without otherwise moving, and he moved in front of Kurt in a protective stance while standing before the group of celebrities. All the danger signs were showing. “No. We’re not leaving.”
Cameron now lifted his head to meet Logan’s eyes. When he stood, Kurt stepped forward to stand next to Logan. But the leading man only stated, “And you’re the one who brought the keyboard.” He gestured to the keyboard at the side of the room, where they had pushed it back.
Green eyes flashed as a temper rose. “Yes, I decided I’d try to get through to him with music. Something he actually likes. It must be better than inane Hollywood chatter that you’re surrounding him with.”
Everyone moved the next instant; most of the male hands grabbed onto Patrick as though sure he was going to fly.
“Wait—wait!” Nathan hissed at him. Patrick glanced back at him and shrugged both him and Cameron off before he stalked to the corner of the room. Everyone exhaled. Nathan looked up to the boys at the door, and managed a small, tight smile.
“Come in,” he told him, ignoring the dark, wordless look Cameron shot him.
So there was no love lost between either family either. Kurt wasn’t surprised. But he did say, “We didn’t expect to find you all here either.”
“We’re J’s friends…” Isabel said absently. She was extremely pretty and without all the makeup, she looked younger. “He’s like our baby brother. Not that he needs a lot of it, but we look after him.”
The snort from Logan made Kurt want to kick him—he was obviously spoiling for a reason to throw the divas out and he wasn’t shy about it. “Really. Somehow I doubt you even knew what was going on for him back here in school.”
“J doesn’t even like that school,” Patrick snapped, his temper also rising. He wasn’t shy either—while the others simmered in their distress for their co-star, Patrick was looking for an outlet. “He never talks about it and never answers our questions about it. He looks pale and worried when he gets texts from you.” Alicia leaned back and ate a potato chip, enjoying the proceedings in silence.
“He doesn’t seem to enjoy your company either, since we’ve barely heard of you back here,” Logan retorted. “How are any of you good for him? Every time he comes back, he looks tired and wasted.”
Patrick jumped up. “Yeah? Then why is his mother sending him back to California with us the moment she found out that there’s a chance he could be transferred out?”
That stalled the party. “What?” Kurt demanded, standing up.
Nathan closed his eyes, clearly willing some kind of self-control into the room. He opened them to look at Logan. “J’s no longer considered critical and he’s out of ICU. Dolce’s getting her doctors in California to look after him. He’s being taken out of here.”
Clark looked unbelievably guilty when he added, “She understands it’s risky even so, especially while he’s unconscious…but she doesn’t…want him here. Not anymore. And since J doesn’t have a say in it…”
Kurt paled at the news. That ruined everything. Completely. Logan wasn’t going to get the chance to fix anything and they would all simply lose the “Cheshire Cat”. And if that happened, there’s no telling how Logan would deal with the aftermath.
“You can’t do that!” Logan’s voice rose.
“Why not?” Cameron looked at him. His tone was even and did not accuse. He looked as though he genuinely wanted to know. “He’d get excellent care there. We can make sure he’s protected. So this kind of thing doesn’t happen again.”
Logan opened his mouth but no sound came out. He looked at Kurt, and then back at the others. “You can’t just take him!”
“And if it is dangerous if he’s unconscious, you can’t take that chance!” Kurt protested. He remembered when his father had been unconscious and how fragile the situation was. He wouldn’t even have moved him to another room.
The group of Hollywood royals looked at each other. They all had this air around them very reminiscent of Julian’s own. Cameron shook his head. “It wasn’t our decision. It was his mother’s. But if he’s safer there…we want him there. What happened here—”
“Was an unfortunate incident,” Kurt snapped, frowning. “Something none of us had any control over.”
“Exactly,” Natasha replied as she rose, looking tall, blonde and perfect. Out of all of them, she was the diva second to Julian. “You had absolutely no control. You can’t protect J from these situations because you’ve never had them. But where we stay, we deal with this kind of thing every day. We’ve protected both Pat and Izzy before. And now we’ll take care of J. In the way you…apparently can’t.”
Cameron and Clark shot her a disapproving look nevertheless. An angry sound was rising from Logan when Carmen peeked into the room abruptly. “Dolce’s on her way back.”
“Tell her we’d like to speak to her about moving him,” Cameron replied immediately. He looked at Logan and Kurt, “We’ll stall her. Give you more time.” He then looked at the others. “Let’s go. Let’s give these two time with J. …it might be the last.”
The group of them sighed and got up. One by one, they patted Julian’s hand and left. Nathan picked up the hedgehog cage when he left with them. When they passed, they did not look at Kurt or Logan, carefully avoiding them. Except for Clark, who stopped, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry. I really am. I want him all right too, and I know he’ll be sad to be away from you all. But…maybe it’s safer this way for everyone.”
And he too left.
Logan stood until the door closed. And then he let out his breath and sat heavily onto the chair, burying his face into his hands. For a moment, Kurt thought he was going to cry again, but he didn’t. He was simply trying to control himself against the tide of the frustration that wracked him.
Kurt sat next to him and shook his head. External forces were deciding for them now. They were like little castles under siege. Everything else was going to break in and break them apart, because they had a chink in their armors that weakened their defenses. And before they even had the chance to regroup, everything was being swallowed up by the tide.
“So it looks like…” Logan laughed hollowly, suddenly into the silence, “…he does have friends who care. It must’ve been easier for him to be there.”
“Logan,” Kurt glared at him.
“Friends who would fly in from across the country to check up on him in spite of crazy schedules and media risks…”
“And apparently they can tell when something upsets him!” Logan looked at Kurt now. “Something I apparently had been blind to for three years. Do you know, Kurt, that I’ve sat up at night this past week actually wondering what that must’ve felt like? Because I can inflict some serious pain, but I can’t imagine what kind of hurt that must’ve been like.”
Kurt lowered his head for a minute, taking a deep breath to get his thoughts together. And then he met Logan’s eyes again. “No, you’re right. I can’t tell you what that must be like. No one knows what that’s like except him.”
Logan blinked at him. Kurt stared at him and said, “…but I think you getting hurt like this was the last thing he wanted all this time.” He made Logan look directly at him so he could understand the brunt of his words. “When he told you everything, he wanted you to run. To turn around and run and forget. It was an impossible thing to ask, but he wanted it because he didn’t want to cause you this kind of pain. …it means he doesn’t blame you for any of it. He never did. …so don’t inflict it on yourself.”
Kurt glanced away for a moment. “People think…that many times other people hurt us. And that’s…true. People really know how to hit a weak spot. …but we have to look out against hurting ourselves too. You can’t live like this, Logan. For a week, you must’ve done this to yourself. And now that he’s going…do you really want to leave him with the thought that all he’s given you after all this was hurt? Really? Really?”
He sat back again and stared hard at the figure on the bed, willing him to wake up. If he could just wake up…maybe something different would happen.
“Three years…” Logan whispered. “Of not noticing…” The tall boy heaved out a sigh. “…He told me loved me, Kurt. …one of my best friends of three years…and I never even knew…” He looked at the ceiling as though furiously trying to keep the tears from falling.
“How do you…” He stifled a bitter sob. “…how do you even begin to process something like that…? Did he…did he just feel this way the all the time?”
This brought a new thought. Kurt hesitated before he decided to just ask. “I always wanted to know. You said that you realize now that he’d been helping you all this time. Helping you to get to the people you wanted to love. But…” he gave him an intent look, “…did you really not notice him…? Are you sure you had absolutely no idea?”
The expression Logan gave him surprised Kurt. He looked almost afraid. As though that question was the one he hadn’t wanted to be asked. Kurt gave him a questioning expression, hoping very very hard that he had an explanation for that fear.
“It…it wasn’t that.” Logan stammered, staring at him. “No, it’s not like that. I really didn’t know. It’d just…I never…let myself go there.”
“…to think of him like that.” Logan swallowed. “Like…he and I…would be anything.”
“Why?” Kurt asked, a little disbelieving. “You really just wanted to be platonic?” He certainly didn’t expect Logan to jump every good-looking male boy he saw—it was just that this one was clearly someone who was very dear to him, for a steady three years and counting, someone who he was willing to face down psychos for, and to be stuck in a burning building with. And considering Logan fell for Kurt in a single song, it was surprising that he’d never even considered the slightest possibility of being with Julian in any way other than platonic.
“I…” Logan tried to explain, but it sounded as though he was telling himself more than anything. As though he had just realized it himself. “…Julian was…you know, he doesn’t play for our team. That’s what everyone knew, that was what I knew. So I put him aside for a while at first and…and when we started to get close…him, Derek and I…when we started to become really close friends… I didn’t want to lose that. Kurt, you know what my life at home is like. …I was only really happy when I was with D and Jules. Everyone came and went but they didn’t. …but if I’d tried anything…anything…that’d break that thing we had…like thinking of one of them like that,” he shook his head. “I just never let myself go there. It…must’ve been a long time ago since I decided that then but…I just never. I couldn’t. It meant too much to.”
Kurt found himself smiling faintly. As he eased back into the couch, he asked, “…and now?”
“I don’t know.” Logan shook his head. He braced his arms onto his knees as he leaned forward, staring at the keyboard in front of the couch. “…I don’t know. I really wish I did.”
There was an instant of silence.
He said that…in music, we could take out everything we felt…
Mr. Harvey’s words that Blaine had told him filtered through Kurt’s thoughts. Maybe it wasn’t the answer…but it makes you think. Kurt turned to Logan and said, “…so you came here to sing to him.”
Kurt tugged the keyboard closer to them. “Then we’ll sing. I’ll sing with you a little and play… you stand over there and sing to him.” Logan gaped him as he adjusted the keyboard settings, and Kurt glanced at him, giving him a raised eyebrow. “I will only do this kind of thing for Blaine, and you, so do not waste the effort. Go on. Stand there. That is what you’re here for?”
There wasn’t much Logan could do. “Wait…what did you want me to sing?”
“That’s yours to answer…” Kurt replied in an unimpressed tone as he continued setting. “You’re the one serenading him back to life, Prince Charming. I’m just singing with you.”
“Very funny.” The blond paused for a moment, cogitating uncomfortably as he looked torn between the boy he loved and the boy who loved him. “…well…there was something I thought I might…” He hesitated. “I mean…I don’t know if it’s something appropriate but I just felt…”
This was all very amusing to Kurt who had not quite seen Logan looking so defensive before. “Go on.”
Logan named it. Kurt resisted a smile and so he kept his gaze onto the keyboard. He’d heard a piano arrangement of that song before, and began to play the melody. Logan nodded. Kurt resumed playing and gave him a prompting look.
And now Logan turned to the boy on the bed. He let out his breath.
Please… he begged in the silence. Listen to me for a minute… And he began to sing.
I don’t know where I’m at;
I’m standing at the back and I’m tired of waiting…
Kurt smiled as Logan walked a little closer to the bed, eyes never leaving his friend on it. He moved until he was right up to the bed.
Waiting here in line, hoping that I’ll find what I’ve been chasing…
Kurt continued to carefully play as he lifted his own voice to join Logan’s in the song, creating a harmony that brought the attention of certain people standing outside the room, who moved up to the door to listen.
I shot for the sky; I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down…
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down…
As they sang, there was a rustle at the doorway. Kurt’s eyes locked onto two Dalton blazers and two red pins. Derek stood at the doorway, observing the temperament of the room. His eyes fell on Julian, and his face fell slightly. And then he lifted his gaze to Logan, and the briefest flicker of a smile appeared. He walked in without a word. Bailey was the other Stuart present, but he stood at the door. Kurt nodded to him, a little puzzled.
Logan barely noticed reaching out to put his hand over the pale one on the bed. His voice rose in the way Kurt knew so well—when he meant what he sang, when he felt through the song.
Not ready to let go, ‘cause then I’d never know what I could be missing…
But I’m missing way too much;
So when do I give up what I’ve been wishing for…
Bailey stayed by the door, listening to the song. Behind him, some of Julian’s friends from LA peeked in, listening and watching. Clark – the most musically inclined of them – stepped in, looking amazed. Kurt and Logan’s voices joined in harmony as the song reached its peak.
I shot for the sky; I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down…
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down…
Derek sat next to Kurt and watched Logan sing, looking as though he were trying to figure out what was going on in his friend’s mind. Kurt imagined that there might not have been many instances when this happened for Derek. From his vantage point at the door, Bailey began to smile almost sadly. Logan kept a hold on the hand on the bed and he closed his eyes and Kurt supported his voice with his own.
Oh I am going down, down, down
Can’t find another way around
And I don’t want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found…
Logan’s voice was the only one that remained, as the last strains of the song hung in the air.
In the pause, Logan leaned over the boy on the bed, his hand still over his. In his face battle various expressions. And in the silence, Kurt heard him whisper, “Wake up. Wake up, Julian. …please wake up.”
Kurt sighed and lowered his eyes. When Burt had been unconscious in the hospital following his heart attack…he didn’t know what to do. With every fiber of him, he wished his father would wake and look at him and tell him he was all right. Just to hear him speak again, or move, or just to squeeze his hand. Even the smallest gesture mattered at this point. When you’re all each other has, every infinitesimal instant was worth waiting for with everything you had.
Even before Logan moved his gaze away, Bailey lowered his eyes sadly and shook his head when, inevitably, there was simply no response from the school celebrity. Cameron and Marcie, standing in view at the door, gave each other thoughtful expressions. For a moment, Cameron smiled as he turned away. “He seems like in good hands here for the time being. Even Dolce would know…”
“Mm…” Nathan murmured from nearby, checking his phone and smiling at a text from his girlfriend. He returned his gaze to Cameron and replied, “…he doesn’t talk about them but…I see why he keeps coming back.”
Clark turned his attentions at Kurt, his stepbrother’s best friend, and grinned, whispering, “I knew you guys had Warblers who could really sing…but I missed the memo on how great you guys sing even while impromptu like this too.”
Kurt only shrugged demurely, but the praise evidently pleased him. Clark whispered with a smile before he rose to leave, “Thanks for looking after my brother, Kurt—and my friend.”
“They’re a handful…” Kurt replied softly with a small smile in return. His eyes drifted to his schoolmate on the bed and wondered if it would get through to him.
As the actors left them to their silence, it was Derek who finally got up and pulled his friend back a little. Logan relaxed slightly at his friend’s gesture and allowed himself to get tugged down to sit in the couch with the rest of them. And then Derek hugged him, bewildering Kurt and Bailey.
Logan somehow managed to smile slightly, but he rolled his eyes. “…Derek, you’re not allowed to hug me.”
“Shut up, idiot, I’m trying to make me feel better,” Derek grumbled.
“It feels awkward, stop.” Logan grimaced, squirming away from his friend’s grip, which made the athlete huffy, and punched him in the arm with just nearly enough force to bruise.
“Fine, see if I ever try to cheer you up again.”
“This from you who was holding onto me and sobbing to the point that nurses wanted to give sedatives?” Kurt raised an eyebrow at Logan. “Let him hug you, I think you need it.”
“Like I have a choice?” Logan grumbled in answer as Derek gave him a few pats that felt more like whacks on his back.
“…Logan?” Bailey finally said as he stood, fidgeting uncomfortably, not quite leaving the doorway. The Stuart prefect raised his eyes to him.
Bailey was very carefully holding out a CD. With a hushed tone, he whispered, “…It’s not mine to give… But I…I thought…you might…want to listen to it.”
For the longest time, Logan just stared. Kurt glanced at him and then got up. He walked to Bailey and took the CD from him. In Bailey’s neat handwriting, it said, “Julian – Beautiful.”
For a long moment, Logan stared at the CD, not really sure of what he was looking at. He looked up at Kurt, who was raising an eyebrow at him. He waved the CD. “Go on and take it.”
“…it’s not mine,” Logan murmured, eyeing the name on it.
“Bailey wouldn’t be giving this to you for no reason.”
“Can you…” Bailey added hesitantly, “…listen to that when you’re by yourself? I just… When that was recorded, I…it felt a little private.”
“I don’t understand,” Logan frowned as he glanced to Bailey, who just shook his head again. “You’ll know when you listen to it. I just…I’ve never heard him sing like that before.”
“Is this…” Kurt turned elegantly on his heel to look at the Stuart at the doorway, repressing a questioning smile that was starting to rise from his lips, “Is this one of the things you recorded during the Valentines Fair? In your booth?”
“Yes.” Bailey smiled a little uncomfortably.
“But it wasn’t broadcast, he just…sang?” Derek asked, looking surprised.
“It was after most of the fair was being taken down…it sounded like a secret.”
“Did he know you recorded it?” Logan suddenly asked, expression darkening.
Bailey looked unsettled and guilty. “No.” He hastily glanced to the boy on the bed, and then to Logan, who looked very tense at the purported intrusion. “He…” a tentative expression on his face, “…he didn’t really seem to care what I did…he just had to let it out.”
There was a pause as Kurt looked down at the generic little CD with the sharpie marker label, but an instant later, it was gone from his hand and it was in Logan’s. But he put it away with such rapidness that it looked as though it were burning him. “Fine, I’ll…I’ll just keep it. Thanks.” He trained his eyes to Kurt now, and he rose to go to him. “Will you be—I mean… Are you staying…? Until they kick us all out, I mean?”
Kurt gauged the look on Logan’s face at the moment. It wasn’t a desperate attempt to get him to stay, but he looked as though he would really prefer him to do so. Derek sat behind Logan, and clearly he wasn’t going to be unappreciated while their third friend was not conscious, but Kurt felt strange being in the room while the idea of Logan and Julian had yet to resolve itself. And as much as he wanted to also make sure that the actor who was with them on the third floor would be all right, he figured time might be better spent on Logan if he was left to sort things out first.
The whole time they had been together today, Logan didn’t seem to know which way to look, and he had fallen apart. If Kurt stayed, he would just get more confused. Two things would clash: The fact that it was he that Logan loved and chased for nearly as long as Kurt had been in Dalton, and perhaps Logan still did feel something for him…
…And the other fact would be that that clearly, Julian had changed the game with his forced confession, and Logan didn’t know how to feel about it. And that every time he even thought about it, he still didn’t know what he was doing.
That was a lot to digest, with a best friend still unconscious.
Kurt began to reply, but he heard his phone go off. He sighed and pulled it out, and saw that it was his father, with a message.
“You all right in there?
He let out his breath and tucked the phone back into his uniform. His eyes met Logan’s, which looked expectant, and Kurt put a hand on his arm. “I have to go.”
Logan released the breath he was holding and nodded. His hands dropped to his sides. “Yeah, I guess…I guess that Blaine must be looking for you by now.”
Kurt shook his head. “No… It’s my dad. He has to take me back to Dalton and pack up.”
Logan looked up. “Pack up?”
Perplexed, Kurt wondered if none of the Stuarts had talked about this at all. And then he realized that both Derek and Logan had been away from the school all this time—they might not be fully aware of what was going on. Inwardly, he wondered if Senator Wright had even mentioned it to him.
“Mr. Brightman told us that we were to begin packing tonight,” Kurt replied. “They’re…closing the school so…all our stuff has to be out by tomorrow morning. And then they’re closing it down. Everyone’s already headed there.”
“What, like right now?” Derek sat up. “They’re kicking us all out right now?”
“Board meeting’s this evening,” Kurt replied. “We don’t have any time but now.”
“They can’t close our school!” Logan exploded, making Kurt shush him with a glare. “Who said—”
“The board and the alumni are talking about this tonight, or that’s what Mr. Brightman told us,” Kurt snapped. “Be quiet!”
“My father never—” Logan caught his breath, wide-eyed at him and he whirled around to look at Derek. “Did you—?!”
“My father didn’t say anything either,” Derek got to his feet, frowning. “And he wouldn’t close the school! He said he liked this school back when he went!”
Legacies, Kurt remembered. Both Logan and Derek were. But then, so were the Brightmans, and it was their father who seemed to be spearheading this whole matter. Even David’s father, although he’d heard that Drew’s father wasn’t quite as thrilled either.
“How can they do this?” Logan murmured, aghast. “What will happen to all of us?! I’m not going back to New York to be with him full time!” He gestured to some vague direction of where the Senator was presumably at.
“I guess we all…end up scattering…” Bailey murmured. Unlike them, he seemed well-informed. “It’s all over.” He sighed deeply, staring at the ceiling. He almost looked as though he was expecting this kind of catastrophe and was resigned to it.
There was a pause amongst the boys, and, Kurt glanced to the boy on the bed, who never stirred. And he whispered, “…I guess even if we wanted him to stay…there’s nowhere to be.”
The thought was entirely unwelcome for everyone in the room. A flash of color soared into Logan’s face as glanced to Julian, and then back at Kurt with a frown. He put a hand on his shoulder. “No. There’ll be a place. For all of us.” He looked at Bailey and Derek. “Come on, we’re going back to Dalton.”
“What are we—”
“We can do what they want for now, but I’m calling my father or Michelle and seeing what the hell is actually going on here.” Logan replied as he began taking down the keyboard. “They can’t just close down the school.”
Kurt smiled as he watched him for a moment, and then he headed for the door. If there was one thing John Logan Wright III was known for, it was his incredible stubbornness. And Kurt had no doubt that he was going to do exactly as he claimed.
He was at the door when he happened to glance back, and he saw something he wondered if he ought not have seen.
He saw Logan’s tall form bending over the hospital bed, blond hair falling onto the face of the still form lying amidst all the apparatus. No one in the room moved, though they stared. Logan remained that way, his eyes fluttered shut as he leaned his forehead on the boy’s—one that no one in Dalton had laid eyes upon since the night of the fire.
“…wake up, Julian…” Logan whispered without opening his eyes. “…please wake up.”
Kurt watched him for a half moment long before he tore his gaze away and he fled the room, his heart pounding. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to wait and see if Julian would open his eyes to respond to that quiet pleading—that strange intimate tone that Kurt was certain he had never heard from Logan before.
He had heard Logan plead to him, he had heard him ask him to stay, ask to be loved by him, ask to be a friend. But that tone, the one he strangely thought he felt more than he heard, was different.
He wondered if the emotion in that voice was what melted Blaine and compelled Joshua. And Kurt wondered vaguely—in certain areas of thought within his mind that he didn’t want to stray too far into—what he would do if it had been directed at him.
He assumed, as he rushed past the caucus of celebrities in the hallways who wondered where he was off to in such a hurry, that he would wake up.
to be continued.